How to Overcome Loneliness Over the Holidays
Holiday loneliness eases when you add a small, steady connection to your week. Ten-minute phone calls, planned check-ins, and one simple social task per day can reduce isolation and lift mood. Brief, empathy-focused calls have lowered loneliness and anxiety within four weeks in randomized trials.
Why loneliness can spike in November and December
Schedules change. Usual touchpoints pause. Social posts show highlight reels. Dark evenings make it harder to get out. Grief and money stress rise. The U.S. Surgeon General reports that about one in two adults has felt lonely, and social disconnection harms mental and physical health. That risk is comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes per day.
Who experiences holiday loneliness?
Holiday loneliness doesn’t discriminate by age. College students away from home, young professionals in new cities, parents whose adult children live far away, and seniors who’ve lost spouses or friends—all report increased isolation during the holidays. The triggers differ (social media comparison for younger adults, grief and mobility limits for older adults), but the solution remains the same: regular, brief human contact. At Sunset Counseling Services in Tooele, we work with clients across all life stages to build connection plans that fit their specific circumstances.
The most reliable antidote is regular human contact.
Strong relationships support mental health; lack of support raises the odds of stress, depression, and frequent mental distress. A recent CDC analysis tied loneliness and low social support to worse mental health in large state surveys.
Evidence also shows that short, structured phone support helps. A JAMA Psychiatry trial found that layperson-delivered, empathy-focused calls cut loneliness, depression, and anxiety in four weeks. A large 2024 trial showed that telephone-based behavioral activation and mindfulness reduced loneliness at three months compared with friendly calls.
A simple plan that starts today
Pick one person. Send one message. Make one short call.
Text a friend, a sibling, a past coworker, or a neighbor. Keep it brief. Try, “Thinking of you, free for a ten-minute call tonight or tomorrow.” Set a time. During the call, ask what went well today, what felt hard, and what they are looking forward to this week. End with a plan for the next call. Short calls are effective because they are easy to initiate and repeat. The trials above used brief, empathy-centered conversations and produced clear gains.
A two-week connection rhythm
Aim for one human touchpoint every day, ten to twenty minutes each. Keep it planned and predictable. Use a mix of calls, brief visits, and one shared activity per week. Choose low-friction options if your energy is low. You can also add structured support by joining a group, volunteering for a single shift, or attending a community event. Programs that incorporate active participation and regular contact with facilitators or peers are more effective.
Scripts that make reaching out easier
“I would enjoy a short call, ten minutes, tonight at 7 or tomorrow at 6.”
“Coffee for thirty minutes at City Brew on Tuesday. If that time is tight, I can call you Thursday.”
“You crossed my mind today. I am keeping plans simple. Free for a short check-in this weekend.”
Keep each message short. Offer twice. Give an easy out.
If you feel shy or rusty
Start small. Use voice notes if calls feel hard. Walk while you talk. Sit side by side for shared tasks, such as a store run or a short walk. Keep visits short so you leave on a good note. If you want structure, consider practicing conversation prompts with a counselor and setting weekly goals to help you stay on track. Reviews of loneliness interventions note that skills practice and regular contact support progress.
If you are grieving this season
Plan one ritual that honors your person or your loss. Share a memory with a trusted friend. Light a candle. Visit a favorite spot. Schedule a call afterward. Grief can feel sharper on holidays, so create a predictable sequence your body can follow. Grief counseling can help you create rituals that honor your loss while keeping you connected.
Shift daily habits that keep you isolated.
Protect mornings for outreach. Limit late-night scrolling. Replace thirty minutes of social media with one call. Keep alcohol consumption modest since it can lower mood and disturb sleep. Add light movement most days, even ten to twenty minutes. Physical activity and social connection support each other in many programs that reduce loneliness.
How counseling helps you feel less alone
Counseling therapy provides a structure that can hold you during the holidays. You set one or two social goals. You practice simple scripts. You build a weekly rhythm that includes calls, brief visits, and one shared activity. You learn how to challenge thoughts that keep you isolated. These steps align with research highlights on practical features, including active participation and regular contact.
At Sunset Counseling Services in Tooele, we focus on practical steps and evidence-based care. We can help you map your support network, schedule weekly contacts, practice outreach skills, and plan holiday rituals that reduce pain. We coordinate with your doctor if your mood or sleep needs medical review. If you are ready to feel more connected, start with counseling in Tooele and set your first goal today.
If you think about self-harm, call your local emergency number. Tell a trusted person right now. You deserve care today.
Don’t wait to feel more connected. Schedule an appointment with Sunset Counseling Services in Tooele today. Build a simple plan that carries you through the season.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Why does loneliness get worse during the holidays?
Routines change, social comparison rises, daylight drops, and grief can resurface. Plan short, regular contact and one weekly activity to steady your week.
2. Do short phone calls really help?
Yes. Randomized trials show empathy-focused calls reduce loneliness, depression, and anxiety within four weeks.
3. What if my family lives far away?
Distance doesn’t block connection. Schedule regular video calls, send voice messages, or plan a shared activity like watching the same movie and texting reactions. Local options also work: coffee with a neighbor, a volunteer shift, or a community event. Counseling can help you build a mix of long-distance and nearby touchpoints that fit your schedule.
4. How many social touchpoints should I aim for each week?
Use four anchors. One call, one shared activity, one kindness, and one plan for next week. Keep each short, then repeat weekly.
5. What if I have no one to call?
Start with a support group, a volunteer shift, or a community event. Meet one person and schedule a follow-up. Counseling can help you plan the first steps.
6. Can counseling help if I’m shy or out of practice with socializing?
Yes. Counseling provides a structured space to practice conversation scripts, set realistic weekly goals, and challenge thoughts that keep you isolated. We help you start small—often with just one text or a ten-minute call—and build confidence through repetition. Many clients feel rusty after months of isolation, and that’s exactly what we’re trained to support.
Is loneliness bad for my health?
Yes. The Surgeon General links social disconnection to higher risks for mental and physical illness, with a hazard comparable to heavy smoking.
